Ok ladies… This post is for y’all who have issues with the “girls” when you run. So gentlemen, unless you enjoy reading about bouncing mammary glands, skip this one.(Who am I kidding?)

Yes, I am talking about my boobs online, in a public forum, which my family and random folks in my (non-online) life (maybe) read. Y’all, we call this an overshare.

You’re welcome.

The reason I am now melon-suppression-obsessed is that I watched the finish video of my 10k this morning as I perused my race photos (they are meh, likely not buying). I just about spit coffee all over my nice flatscreens at work and fell over laughing when I spied myself in the crowd of finishers.

Yes. Laughing. More like gigglesnorting and trying to suppress the out-loud guffaws and “Oh wow, I look ridiculous!” exclamations.

Now, many runners look at their finish photos and videos and go “EEK! Do I really look like that?” or “Ohhhh snap… terrible, terrible, terrible.” Although sometimes I think people like them, like I did after the Manotick Road Race ( Also? My husband’s photos are really nice. he always looks very manly and focused. Says me. I am biased. That is ok.

When I watched my video, I wasn’t sure what to expect, other than knowing my elbows would be out, my gait rather waddly, and a simple smile on my face. That would be fun to see, right? What I saw was bouncing. Swaying side-to-side, dramatic, waving-to-the-crowd breasteses. Yeah. I watched it twice to make sure it was indeed me. Wow. As my friend Katie has said (paraphrased), “It was rather National Geographic up in there”.

So, in that evidence there, I am now doubting my bra’s effectiveness. The bouncage was flying about more than what I actually feel when I run, and certainly, it was a heaping cupful more than I would like, based on the fact that I was wearing my favorite running bra. My industrial-strength Lululemon uniboober. My expensive Tata Tamer that feels snug and secure when I pry wrestle put it on. I love running in it, it is comfy, it feels nice, and I don’t chafe. But in that video is evidence it does nothing for my chest. Nothing.

How I am not in pain at the end of a run I have no idea because they had some serious momentum. Do I seriously not notice this at all when I run? I am cringing and body hugging myself as I watch the jolting up and down slamming of my sensitive bits. Ow.

So now, I ask the female Interwebs folk who come to my tiny corner and read my random wafflings… What do you wear to minimize the bounce? What brand of bra keeps you secure and immobile? Do you double up the uniboobers? KT Tape those babies down? And if you don’t have this problem, I am allowed, as a runner, to dislike you a little bit (just kidding, no hate, only love, yo…). I am now on the hunt for a better bra. Does it exist? Will I have to finance it if I do find it? (Who ever said running was inexpensive lied. LIED!)

As an end note, one thing I am very happy about today is that my first reaction was one of humour, instead of hiding behind my eyes and hating the images, and by proxy, myself. I think, in the last couple of weeks, post-Mudder, I’m starting to learn to let go of caring what others think when I am achieving, not worry about what I look like, because who cares, except me? I’ve left a lot of %$^& out there in the mud and on the pavement lately. Still a ways to go, because I still feel fat, short, and weird a lotsometimes… But I think I am learning to let the negativity bounce, and hold onto the good stuff that comes, with each achievement.


One thought on “Bounce

  1. shonaturner May 29, 2013 / 11:40 am

    I hear ya! I personally love the Enell bra. It’s not pretty, but I find it does the job, and it does up in the front so it’s not such a struggle to get it on. 🙂

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