Mom of the Year

*I am in a silly mood today, and have a non-fitness post for y’all. Enjoy!*

Did you know that when you need splash pants for your two kids because you can’t find the ones you squirrelled away last year, there are none anywhere in the city? Lord knows I will find the old ones this weekend when I start the 2013 Annual Spring Purge of All the Things™.

I finally found some (not very waterproof… Seriously, taffeta? How is that going to keep my kid dry?) splash pants at two different Wal-Marts. I found a pink pair at one, the last pair, and ran to the cash with my random purchases spilling out of my arms, thinking I was going to get mobbed by the six other parents slowly doing laps in the kid’s section, eyeballing every rack for that other, elusive pair. The second pair I found at another Wal-Mart, and I think the same six parents had followed me there. More slowly revolving shopping carts, like some cruel game of musical chairs, only this time there are no chairs and everyone is ragey and pushing large metal weapons.

The victory is that my son is wearing splashpants today that I have to roll four times so they fit, but darnit all, he has some, as the school wanted! I think I need to go and hit Carters/OshKosh for some actual waterproof ones (and perhaps in his size?), but those kinds of stores aren’t open after 9 pm, which is when I went out. Also, we needed yeast, cheese, and freezer bags.

I am queen of the random late-night shopping purchases, yes I am. *fistpump*

I really wish stores would put their seasonal clothes out in the seasons you USE them in. I have no interest in putting my daughter in summer dresses yet, but that is all you see on the racks. *sigh* It is insane that I have to buy Christmas outfits in September, Winter clothes in August, and Spring clothes in January. It drives me nuts. I love consignment stores for being able to buy clothes for the season in the season, but it is a crapshoot to find size and such. Finding nice boy’s stuff on consignment, at my son’s age, is also mega-crazy hard, as most boys his age destroy everything they wear as they rapidly grow out of them (My son included). I look at his outgrown pants every time I put together a consignment pile and shake my head sadly as they get re-sorted to the “rag” pile.

I want some kid’s clothing company to come out with pants that do not wear out at the knees, or the butt, and have cuffs that are indestructible. Is that too much to ask? I’d also like them to not cost an entire paycheque either.

I’m lookin’ at you, Gymboree. *stinkeye*

I did, as I searched in vain for the proverbial needle in the Wal-mart/Joe Fresh haystack, want to buy all the cute raincoats and rubber boots I saw (yes, they have tons of those in the stores of course… Argh), which I did not since my kids already have that stuff. They have very traditional togs, black and burnt sienna-soled boots that you get at the local Co-op for $10 (In my case, Value Village for $2). Stylish beyond words, I know, but they are rugged and they fit right now. Neither kid seems to care that their boots do not have the latest Disney character, or some cute frog or ladybug on them. Can they splash in the mud? This is the top priority.

Give it a few years, I know, and they will be whining for designer boots because everyone else has them. Maybe by then the money tree will have sprouted. Mind you, if it does, we won’t be living anywhere that you need rain boots. Heh…

I saw some boots for my daughter last night that were adorable girly colours (pink with some more pink as accent) with these utterly over-the-top pink bows molded as part of the cuff of the boot. The adorable factor was blinding, and I knew she would love them, but I passed. Subsequently, I saw boots for my son with the foot part shaped like a car. Seriously? He would make that zooming noise wherever he ran, wearing those. But again, the cash is not there (I needed splashpants, yo), and they already have some.

And now they have splashpants. I win Mom of the Year. Right? *cricket chirp*

No? Eh-heh…

So, with my daughter’s yellow rain coat, new pink splashpants and black rubber boots, all I need to complete her outfit is a red rainhat or something, then take a zillion embarrassing pictures of her playing in said ensemble.  She can take the pictures to therapy with her someday, show the therapist and say “This is how my mommy dressed me! *sob* The scars!” . My son, on the other hand, will be wearing splashpants that go up to his armpits under his rain coat, but hey, he won’t be wearing snow pants in May, or have his backpack stuffed to the gills with extra jeans and socks because he always jumps into the biggest puddle. He won’t care, but I am sure I’m going to get a (slightly damp) note home from the teacher in crisp, slightly irritated handwriting:

“{Your son} decided to wear nothing but his splashpants outside today, since it seems they cover his entire torso and he thought it was a mud suit. Please talk to him about the importance of wearing a jacket, and not getting naked in the hall way at school.”

That will be a  Mom of the Year moment for sure.

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