It is race season, and there are so many races that I want to do. Moonlight runs, cookie runs, trail runs, charity runs. I think perhaps my ambition is bigger than my chequebook (at least right now). I could run a race every weekend from now to Christmas if I really wanted to! My hubby just shakes his head and says “Why do you want to run all that?” and then, almost simultaneously, “We can’t afford that.” *grumble*
It tried to explain to him that I want to keep the high I got from Army Run, and my competitive self has come back to life in a flurry of bad-@$$ rainbow fury. I want to better my “score”, do faster and better runs, and push myself with these tests. He says I can try and better my time in my weekly running, but… It is not the same. The adrenalin is not there, the crowd-sourced excitement is absent. That hum that makes you push that little bit more is necessary, almost.
I used to feel that way about paintball. Once I got into playing tournaments, rec ball was kind of… *yawn*, unless I was playing with fellow tourneyer’s. I needed that level of “GOGOGO” to keep me moving and expanding my skill, bringing the adrenalin kick into play so it was fun. I think I may have, at the time, been slightly addicted to that wonderful chemical reaction in my body…
Yeah. No maybe. I was. Why do you think I bought a Mustang and used to gallop horses really, really fast?
Another reason I want to do more races is that I also got a kick out of doing something social. I was with like-minded friends, and knowing we were there supporting one another, even if we didn’t see one another physically that day, was really great. I have loved connecting in with other women (just like ME!) who are working on their health, weight, and fitness. It has given me so much motivation and excitement about what I am doing that I want to just jump up and down and scream “COME PLAY WITH ME!” all the time.
I have found a tribe, and it is awesome.
I have realized that this means being patient and picking my runs carefully, since I can’t be out every night of the week for some fitness activity, or leave every weekend for half the day. I would miss the time I spend playing with my kids, getting covered in craft glue, or fighting with my son to brush his teeth (really! I would!). My husband might not appreciate it so much either. What with the two small children and the usual shenanigans, he might just get a little wore out if I wasn’t there for us to tag-team. I know he wants to do more races, but he doesn’t find road racing all that exciting, and much prefers trail running or obstacle courses. He is content with not doing another one this Fall.
*shakes fist* Durned Husband and his unflappable progression in his own training! He’s a machine, and so much more able to motivate himself than me. It is very manly and adorable. I am a lucky, lucky woman.
Also? He’s back to the hotness-level he was when I met him, so it does make it easier to not get peeved when he says no to doing a race event. “Alright, dear. It’s ok. Let’s go for a trail run so I can ogle your bum.” ♥
The reality is also that we can’t afford to spend $40 to $50 per person, per race (not to mention babysitter fees), when there are things like winter running gear to procure, bills to pay, food to buy… children to clothe. Reality must intrude upon the dream I have of competing in all of these events. Doing more races might also lead to over-training, which leads to injury, which leads to…
Not being able to run with my tribe.
Which would suck.