Palpable Blocks

I see the blank page,  and my mind empties, mimicking the white expanse before me.

Like a drunk waggling an empty drink glass at a bartender,  my desperation becomes palpable when I realize I have nothing to say.

Perhaps the need to be profound, and have meaningful posts is what drives me to throw away so many ideas with the detritus of the days observations blowing in and out of my mind. Yesterday’s news, present situations, and the odd sound byte of  my periphery meander in and out, at times giving me strength, and at others, providing me with the overwhelming apathy of self-criticism and discouraging editor brain once a few sentences have flowed from my fingers.

All writers face this, some prevail.  Others spend years yearning for the burst of creativity to finish, or even start. I’m not sure where I fit in that scale of one to one hundred thousand. Furthermore, I don’t know which end of the scale is more desirable.

What wars we wage with ourselves as we struggle to bleed prose onto a page that will mean something to others! sometimes we find it so easy, and off we go, running full tilt into the ether with thoughts so fast that our fingers can barely keep up with the excitement in our minds! Write! Write and let them flee before you!

But sometimes it is so difficult to even type one single word that we simply can’t bear the pain, and turn away to flail endlessly against the metaphorical brick wall. We do anything but write, because figuratively flailing against that brick wall is much less painful than trying to write, right then.

Why am I being so melodramatic this evening?

Because I have stared at a blank page for over two hours, and have yet to feel as if I have found something meaningful to say.


6 thoughts on “Palpable Blocks

  1. M July 30, 2009 / 11:18 pm

    Yup. This was totally me last night.

    • mustangsabby July 31, 2009 / 8:14 am

      I suppose, in not having anything to say, I did have something to say about not having anyth…. oh bother, you get the point, eh? 🙂 Thanks for reading!

  2. Kaylie July 31, 2009 / 9:27 am

    If you’ve got nothing to write, write about nothing! I love it. It’s strange how some days, the words seem inspired, while every word is a struggle other days. But then you look at it later, and sometimes you can’t remember which is which.

    • mustangsabby July 31, 2009 / 9:35 am

      As Barbara Demarco-Barrett (Pen on Fire, love that book!) says, or even Natalie Goldberg drills, just dive in, and even if you write the same word over and over and over, eventually the second one will come. Advice I should just follow more, eh?

      I stared at the computer screen last night forever, and then I decided to kvetch about it, and instead of deleting the drivel, I kinda liked what I ended up with. *grin*

  3. Gail July 31, 2009 / 10:25 am

    Write for yourself, forget what’s meaningful to others. Some pieces win, some don’t – but the practise certainly won’t hurt! Plus, I’ve always enjoyed your accounts of “normal life” the best, like learning what pregnancy can be like. 😉

    • mustangsabby July 31, 2009 / 12:28 pm

      Thanks Gail. You know, as a writer, that when we write, we are our own worst critics. I appreciate the vote of confidence! I have missed writing in my blog, and now with a bit more time, I have picked it up again.

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